Me with a fucking beanie on
Me with a fucking beanie on
i have no life. thank you black ops.
Ok so this was in high school. one week end my friend got the idea to party it up at this hotel with these chicks so i said”hell ya”, as always :D. So we go all the way there with a bottle of jack and finally get their. These two were pretty fat but still doible because i dont really have standards when im drunk. so i started my game. Rule:if you want to get laid dont black out… anyways so my two friends get hammered one of the snorted whip cream of the girls titties so you know how this night was going. and the other friend got blacked out as fuck. idk how i pulled this off but i ended up jumping from one bed to the other taking turns fucking these girls. yes it was how you imagine it FUCKING AWESOME. so in the middle of that i hear a knock on the door and im like wtf who is that? one of the girls opened the door and it was her fucking mom. so me and my friend carry my other friend out the back because her mom was flipping the fuck out like i have never seen a mom so mad. so we jump in the car after putting this drunk bastard in the back (fyi he puked all over the back of my fucking car). so we go to ihop to sober up a little for the drive home but we saw these three girls that we thought were hot so my friend walks up and somehow got us to sit with them. they were down to drink and we have some beer left so we all went to the park and drank. untill the fucking cops showed up and gave us breath thingies. idk how the fuck i passed it but i did. i still to this day wonder how that happened. so he ended up letting us go and we drove 2 hours back what a fucking night…Thanks For Reading!
Police Officer Patrick Larrison violently attacks 15 year old girl
did he really have to overdo it?
Ok so i go to my friends house. Usual day just smoking pot and playing xbox. My friend passes out so i was watching t.v. on the couch. His mom comes over and sits with me and watched t.v. for awhile then all of the sudden she asked if i wanted some wine. Of course i say “hell ya”. So we go to the back porch and just sat and talking about shit i don’t remember. i could tell something was on her mind when she asked if i wanted to relax on the hammock. So we laid there with her in my arms looking at the stars…..then…. the moment happened, we met eyes and kissed each others faces off. Now she wants to go to the trampoline and you can probably guess whats up :D. I said “i dont want to get caught your husband is sleeping inside”. She obviously didn’t care so i made my move. This is when i learned that older women know exactly know what the fuck to do. she got this massage thing out and put it on my ball sack that made me feel an all kind of new orgasm. i skeeted so hard that i drenched this cougar all over her body, so i was like fuck it and i massaged her with my cum. What a time that was. thanks for reading…
That was a pic of my dick. It was half mass because my roomie knocked on the door and make moaning noises. FML right?
bitch slap, homie
(via Le Memé)